so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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