I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
