at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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