So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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