Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
