you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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