im drinking this country out of the recession.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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