He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
