We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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