once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
