I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
