She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
