Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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