I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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