yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm just crazy horny about you
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
