I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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