she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
