I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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