Fuck appropriateness.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He shit in the fireplace
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
