just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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