Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
