i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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