why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
