You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
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