It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Randomize
