you have to choose: penises or morals?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
