Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just high enough for therapy.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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