he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
