i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
