I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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