I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
