I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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