Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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