bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
