im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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