um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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