Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
