Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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