I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
