I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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