I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
