I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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