now i know why i became what i already was.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
