What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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