I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
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