So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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