I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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