those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
