So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
