I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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