You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
