Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize